Who's your Daddy?

All the hype, hoopla, Bollywood star tantrums, cleavage oh and cricket too from the IPL almost distracted me and made me miss the start of the Frank Worrell trophy in Kingston. I said almost. I am glad my cricket intuition didn't desert me: like a homing bird I switched to the start of the match in the Caribbean, saw Katich struggle, rolled my eyes at impending doom for the Windies when that street fighter walked in at No. 3 and left at the end asking the question "who's your daddy....?"

RT Ponting got his 100 of 127 balls and went to get 158 as Australia pounded 301 runs on Day 1. He is now at 35 hundreds...4 behind many people's all time great. No prizes for guessing who that is. For one reason or another which I have to date not been able to articulate I have been fascinated by successive Australian players: Damien Martyn, the Waugh twins, Allan Border, Mark Taylor and more recently RT Ponting. The common touch has been their ability to always deliver when the chips are down. Out of all these that I mentioned, none could however match RTP for his ability to completely dominate and crush the opposition. Only one other man continues to do that in world cricket today and he wears a blue jersey with no. 10.

If this is the trend, I think RTP will soon overtake no. 10 for test 100's...having said that I have eaten humble pie too many times before so I'll just sit back and enjoy the cricket.

Champs again

For all the talk of Indian cricket being in the dumps (if one were to believe certain comments left on this blog) and only a money spinning machine, India has cornered the second among what I believe are the 5 crowns of Cricket globally (the other 3 being 50/50, Test cricket and the Champions Trophy). The Under 19 team played some glorious cricket to nudge out South Africa in winning the junior world cup. This is another big step in India's march toward becoming the top cricket team in the world. Of course there's a long way to go yet but yesterday offered some glimpses into the future.

The combination of a cricketing master class by SRT left the Australians floundering, misfielding, over throwing and finally folding in the face of the SRT - RS combo. If SRT displayed why he is still SRT, then Rohit Sharma was not far behind, playing some audacious strokes on the way to a match winning innings. The big disappointment was Uthappa again but one hopes he will be persisted with and will come good eventually.

How to weed this out?

In Punjabi culture, comparing a person to a plant or tree is considered extremely offensive and is an extremely racist slur. The entire Sikh and Punjabi community, and indeed India is up in arms over this racist slur by one among the pack of wild dogs (not my comparison call Peter Roebuck!). The nation is demanding that this racist slur be punished to the fullest!

OK so I am kidding. But it seems like these guys just can't learn to keep their mouths shut. Its gone beyond disgust now and just become a really bad taste in the mouth that keeps recurring. It seems like there really are no boundaries to the arrogance, audacity and maliciousness of this Australian team. As a cricket fan again I'm quite aghast at what this Australian team has reduced the game to, trampling its spirit into the mud and brazenly claiming this as a victory for sport at the altar of patriotism. The reception most Australian players save Brett Lee will get in India will be interesting to say the least.

Tribute

It seems that Andrew Symonds has still not moved on with his life, now dabbing eyes and sniffling in public saying " I am a straight forward guy " and other such rubbish. Hypocrisy at alarming levels that. All this rubbish by Symonds, Ponting and sections of Australian fans and the media have completely eclipsed what should have been a shining guard of honour for two cricketers who will surely go down as all time greats.

Shaun Pollock quietly announced an end to an incredible career over which he managed 3800 test runs and 421 test wickets.

And of course Gilly. Gilly who inspired and entertained and delighted. Arguably the best wicketkeeper batsman of all time. Thanks Gilly: take a bow...they don't make 'em like you anymore.

tiddly winks

And in a predictable outburst, many of Australia's past players are blaming their resounding defeat and public "chaddi uttaar-ing" to the fact that the Australians were too "nice" and did not use their strength which is to be "aggressive" and "play hard"

Whatever the hell that means. You lost because you were outplayed by a team which was better consistently over 4 days. By not being "aggressive" I think the ex players are saying that the "pack of wild dogs" (not my line, call Peter Roebuck!), didn't resort to their usual tactics of abuse, sledging and that ridiculous term "mental disintegration".

India might well be brushed aside at Adelaide and Ponting's Pack could resume their strutting, but the reactions one has seen after this loss go to show how fragile the psyche is of many sections of the Australian media and players. No one likes being rattled but even the best are challenged and then finally cast aside...something they have to be cognizant of.

Oh and if Australia resume their "aggressive" tactics at Adelaide they must also realise that "motherfuc*er" is the same as "big mo*key" and not go crying to Uncle Mike again. You think I am being inflammatory? No. I am only being "aggressive".

Mommy Mommy he called me a Monkey!

Incredibly, Ricky Ponting's Australians, at their self righteous worst went crying first to Blind Benson and then, ostensibly wiping tears from their eyes went to match referee Mike Procter, all the time pointing a finger at Harbhajan Singh.

If one were to recreate the conversation between the grieving Aussies and Procter:

Ricky Ponting, " Uncle Mike Uncle Mike!"

MP: Yes yes my poor child ricky...what happened? Why are you crying? And why is Andrew so sad?

RP: That sonafabit*h Bhajji ...the basta*d who probably f*c*e* every dingo in sight since he landed, he had the nerve to call Andrew something racist!

MP: What?? A brown guy insulting another coloured guy in a white team with a racist remark?? How can that ever happen? Its an insult to mankind! What exactly did he say?

RP: Umm...well he's a dirty basta*d you see uncle so we don't get too close to him but I think he called dear sweet mild mannered andrew here a monkey"

MP: What??! How dare he? The sonafabi*ch! Let's fu*k that a**hole so he never does it again. Do you have any proof he said that?

RP: yes yes Haydos here is also sure he heard something racist too. That's proof enough isn't it? The word of 3 Australians against 1 Indian? And I would suggest banning him for the rest of the tour so he can't keep getting me out uncle mike!!

MP: Done ricky done!
*************

I think I am just another of the MILLIONS ( that's how much this episode has touched Indians around the globe) who are outraged by: 1. The sheer gall Ricky Ponting and the Australian team had to complain about something said on the field 2. The incredible lack of sportsmanship displayed by Ponting, Clarke and Symonds throughout this match 3. By the ban served on Harbjahan Singh based purely on the word of 2 other Aussies, ONE of whom would probably go to great lengths not to play him in another match for a while.

As a cricket lover, I am distraught and I think every single Australian cricket fan too needs to be distraught. The days of Steve Waugh, Mark Taylor, Ian Healy and Border are gone. They seem like a dream compared to what we see today. Australian cricket: good bye and good luck. It'll take a lot for me to respect you guys again. You can win all over the world, but oh please don't ever expect any respect from us Indians again. And the next time you tour here, don't expect too many bouquets because honestly even us timid, servile, adoring Indian fans who let you come here, sing and dance in songs, cut ribbons, pose next to advertisements; even we are sick of you, at your hypocritical ways, at your incredible lack of playing the game the right way and at your brazenness when confronted.

Over and out Australian Cricket.

Symonds' Monkeys

All of us, at various points in our lives have a monkey on our backs. One that constantly whispers rubbish in our ears or scratches our head when decorum has to be maintained. Some of us shake off these monkeys and some don't. However, not many of us face the situation where the metaphorical monkey on our backs IS one where everyone seems to address us as a monkey! Now this indeed is a peculiar situation and one which, I am certain will provide quite a bit of food for thought to psychologists, and dare I say students of mental health.

Our favourite, abrasive, abusive, confrontational jack ass (after Ricky Ponting that is), Andrew Symonds seems to think every Indian is out to call him a monkey, make chimp like noises at his elbow and jump up and down in front of him scratching their armpits for his benefit. Unless I am much mistaken, our dear fellow human being (lest anyone feels I am casting aspertions on Symonds' genetic makeup) faced similar hallucina...sorry, I meant similar issues in England, in India and has now gone on to accuse the fighting Sardar with allegations of "racial" abuse. Considering the volume of absolute rubbish that the Australian team constantly spews, I find it quite rich that Ponting had the nerve to lodge an official complaint about words exchanged on the field. If every captain who played against Australia were to employ a similar approach, McGrath and Ponting himself would be attending hearings their entire life time!

My advice to Ponting would be to pipe down, drop this attitude of a disgusting snitch and try not getting out to Bhajji! As for our dear fellow HUMAN BEING Symonds, all I can say mate is that I very much doubt if Bhajji understands too much of what you or your fellow Aussies say in your inexplicably incomprehensible accents, nor would he come close to understanding many of the words in your vocabulary, (for example: Sheilas, schooners, wombats, husseys etc etc). The point here is that cultural differences often make us interpret words especially exchanged in heated environments as being personal attacks or as racial abuse. If only Symonds was congnizant of this simple but important fact, he wouldn't go around hearing the word "monkey" around every corner. Shake of those monkeys Roy and get on with playing the game!